Back to the real world!!!

It's funny to think that the last time I posted I was in Italy wishing I was in Georgia... how bizarre. I'd give anything to be back in Italy without a care in the world except to be amazed at God's creation constantly. It was nice to get back to Georgia and spend time with my family and experience the freedoms that come with living on my own here in Athens but along with all that came school, work, grad school applications, internship, deciding on my future and trying to have a life in between. It's not like my life is much different from the hundreds of college seniors in this world. They are probably all dealing with the same issues so I don't expect anyone to pity me. There are people in this world who would die to be in my shoes living pay check to pay check and with the freedom to make a choice about where my life goes next. It's spontaneous and exciting and if I learned anything from Italy it's that you have to live in the moment. Enjoy where you are and what you're doing because you may never be there again. I'll never be a college senior living in Athens, Georgia single and free and broke ever again. I'm trying not to take it for granted or get caught up in the stress of handling it all. But in the midst of all this I am currently making the... I dunno... third largest decision in my life. Grad school? what degree? What school? Get a job? Where? Join the military? What branch? Move away from Georgia? How far? Whatever I decide will direct my path for the next 5ish years of my life at least and I'm so lost... no clue where I'm headed. I know it has to be the Lord's will but what is that? How will I know? How long do I have to wait for the answer? But enough complaining and adding to my stress level. I'm like an adult guys.... my internship has been really good for me. I'm learning a lot about social work and what it's really like. I know school social work is definitely not for me but like I said I'm learning a lot through it. I'm still working at chick-fil-a and that's actually been really good. Last spring I was burnt out. I came back to school determined to find a different job but I actually really love it where I'm at. I don't know what it is. I really do love a lot of my co-workers and schedule wise it just works for me right now so that's where I'll be for a while. I moved into a new apartment. It's only two bedrooms so It's different only living with one person. I definitely miss my Chels and Deb!!! Speaking of which CHELSEA GOT MARRIED!!!! It's so insane to me that my best friend who is 20 years old is married. I'm so happy for her and David! I do have to admit though, it makes me a little anxious to think that I'll be 22 this year and don't even have a prospect in mind for dating much less marriage. I know that's normal. I'm not the exception to the rule, Chelsea is but it just freaks me out. My dream in life is to have a husband and a ton of little kids running around. Maybe the Lord has that in His plan for me but maybe not... am I ready to accept that if it isn't in His plan? I don't know. Either way the fact is that I have a lot of following the Lord to do and I'm not very good at it.

My mom started college today. I'm so proud of her. She is gonna do great I'm sure... and Wesley and Brit found out they are definitely having a boy. I think they are naming it Hunter... I'm gonna be the best aunt ever!!! Mom got me a new book called Lady in Waiting... I started reading it last week and so far it's really awesome... just what I needed to hear. It's about being sold out for the Lord and not needing something else in your life to give you worth or purpose. Kinda the stuff I've been telling myself these past few years and everyone around me has been preaching it to me but I think my heart has just come as far as it can and I'm breaking down. Maybe I'm really ready to be recklessly abandoned because I'm tired of being constantly broken. I know the Lord's plan for me is perfect and He is sovereign... that's what I'll hold onto. ok so it's time to end a post when writing makes me cry haha... goodnight everyone... it's good to be back with you all.